One day a young married mother-to-be came to the door and she had one of the most tragic stories I have ever heard since doing this work. Upon introducing myself and explaining the purpose of the visit, a fierce anger came into her eyes and flashed across her face and she told me I was wasting my time in speaking with her.
Now sometimes people immediately back up those kind of statements by becoming abusive and slamming the door in my face – but not this young lady, so I knew God was in this somewhere. She then went on to tell me there was no God, no truth, no Jesus, “Don’t talk to me about a loving God, He’s no such thing!” Her hurts were deep, her words were bitter.
Here’s why. It was the last week of November when we met. Eleven months earlier at the beginning of January, both her mother and father and two sisters aged thirteen and fourteen were killed in a car crash, as was the drunken driver of the other car. Tears came into her eyes as she said, “So tell me now about your loving God!”
Times such as these I found to be tricky and each time called for a lot of wisdom to bring ministry to situations like this – wisdom I believe no human being has. So as always, my practice was to pray for wisdom as I listened to her and at the same time wait for God to speak through me. I was fully aware that this was His work and that I was just His vessel.
When I sensed the correct timing I explained to the young lady that in the Scriptures we see the word “sin” but it’s basic meaning is “rebellion.” I then said to her that the Scriptures also tell us there is a devil and as we study his nature and character we see that he is the father of rebellion. I then suggested that perhaps instead of blaming God maybe she could blame the devil who used a drunken rebel for his dirty work.
Her immediate response was, “Well which one was responsible for the heart attack and death of my twenty-one year old friend who died around the same time as my family?!” She was not ready for any reply from me, so there were a few long moments of silence. Then she told me she had watched her friend die over fourteen hours, also having to listen to the doctors say there was nothing they could do.
By now I was feeling a little of this lady’s pain, knowing once again that no human being can rightly respond to such tragedy. Plenty of people attempt to do so but too often they just add to the hurts. I knew I was capable of being one of those at this point, so I asked God to shut my mind and mouth to any kinds of humanistic, psychological emotionalism. This lady’s hurts were deep in her spirit and no one is qualified to go there accept the Holy Spirit of God.
When I did respond I explained that the Bible factually tells us that the there is a day for each one of us to die, but that it does not factually tell us how or when we will die. Further saying that because of sin having entered the world, physical death is a fact of life, but spiritual death doesn’t have to be – and won’t be, if we’re trusting in Jesus Christ, who Himself, knows all about tragedy.
She listened and nodded, then more hurts flowed out. Next she said she had two brothers alive, both of whom she hates. One of them, “is a born-again Christian and I wish he would die for what he did.” I didn’t ask what he had done, but whatever it was, she said, “I will never forgive him.” I then explained that if he truly was born-again in Christ, then all his sin has been forgiven by the Lord and that perhaps the day will come when, if he has to, he will come and put things right with her.
In spite of the hurts and emotions she continued to express, plus the risk of being told to go away, I decided it was now time to share with her that Jesus shows us that the only real loser in unforgiveness is the person who will never forgive. I remarked that she was a young looking lady, but by the time she was forty this stuff would eat her up if she didn’t allow God to release her from it. She saw the possibility of that becoming true, but said, “Why didn’t they both die in the crash instead of my two sisters?!”
She said she came from a Catholic background but wanted, “nothing to do with that church or any other.” Underneath all those hurts was a lovely young woman whom God touched that day. She didn’t want prayer but she did smile and thank me at the end for listening and talking with her.
God has a special place in His heart for the broken hearted and although I did not see her again, knowing that there are no coincidences in the Lord Jesus Christ, I believe it was His intention that day to begin drawing her closer to Him. “The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You: for You have not forsaken those who seek You.” Psalm 9:9.