“In the church, there is no hierarchy. Leaders are not to force their will on others.” My wife and I visited a church one time and were very blessed to hear those exact words coming from the minister, as he preached his sermon. The words impacted me because prior to him speaking, this had been our experience far too often in the previous six years with the two churches we had been associated with.
As new Christians, unfamiliar with the Scripture’s true meaning of obedience to leadership, we took at face value what was taught. We had not yet learned the dangers of embracing doctrinal over-emphasis. In fact, it was to be another six or more years before I fully grasped Scriptures such as, “Obey those who rule over you and be submissive…..” Hebrews 13:17.
A friend from the first church we’d been involved with (see my posts: Dramatic changes. Part 1 & Part 2) called in one day to inform us that she had found a new church-fellowship and, “they are simply the nicest people one could ever wish to meet.” After our negative church experiences over the previous three years, that was a refreshing statement to our ears, so the following Sunday we visited the fellowship.
Our friend was spot-on in her assessment too – a gentle, friendly group they were, of about twenty-five people, including children and young adults. As is typical of some small church groups, genuine interest was shown by them as we chatted and the invitation was extended to us to come and go among them as we felt led by the Holy Spirit. The leader of the group readily identified with me as I spoke about our previous church troubles, saying that they themselves had been through some painful experiences six years earlier.
Apart from being lovely people, having something similar in common was an added attraction, so we decided to look no further for a church home, making the decision to fellowship with this group. Another attraction for me was a statement made by the leader, “You are welcome amongst us, you will find no pressure here.” The meeting place on Sunday mornings was local, but their night services were held at their main building, thirty-odd kilometers away and so after a few weeks we decided to go there as well.
When all together as a larger group, we found all the people to be exactly the same – gentle, friendly – very different than any church group I had encountered before. The children were included at those night meetings and it was wonderful to observe the genuine honor and respect given by both the old and the young to one another. Lots of lip service was given by each group in our other churches, but here one saw the real thing constantly in action. They truly were a family-oriented church in practice.
Although they were not professionals in the true sense of that word, the caliber of some musicians and singers was as good as anything I had seen in my twenty-eight years as a professional musician. Such a high standard is not always evident in Christian musicians and singers in church gatherings, but that was not the case here. I was later to learn that they had an even larger church across town, plus equally large church affiliates interstate. Music was a high point in all these places and they wrote their own material and songs as well.
As time went by I further learned that the preaching, teaching and music etc, was being taught in all their churches around the nation at the same time. In other words, everyone around the country was being placed on the same “spiritual page” – embracing the same doctrines, speaking the same language. There was a strong emphasis on the need to be truly, “connected to the body” (of fellow believers) and to be in a genuine relationship with one another. Nearly all churches say that, but most don’t do it, so it was interesting to observe these people practicing what they preached.
There was also a major emphasis on the need for families to be living according to God’s order. As time went on I could see that my priorities had been out of order, mostly due to ignorance, both as a husband and a father. It was becoming clearer to me that God had a better way for us to live and although some truths were unpleasant to hear, we made the decision to embrace this new word and by God’s grace, we would live it out as a family.
We committed ourselves to this teaching and people by attending nearly all the weekend seminars and annual family camps etc, and for a few years I felt blessed to be associated with them. From time to time I heard some teaching that I considered spurious, but because I personally needed to embrace the truths that were taught about becoming a godlier husband and father, I over-looked the errors. For example: there was a heavy emphasis on the dangers of one losing one’s salvation if one failed to live according to God’s order in the home and in the church.
I did/do not believe that teaching, but at the same time I was ignorant of the spiritual and mental harm such teaching can do to a person. There was a heavy emphasis on the need to be submitted to headship order in the church. They taught that if one was not submitted to headship, then one was not submitted to Christ and if a man’s wife was not submitted to her husband and the single women were not in submission to church headship, then they too, were not submitted to Christ. I was well aware of the partial truths in that teaching, but I rejected the pressure to accept this as the whole truth.
As the years rolled by I was hearing much that disturbed my spirit, but each time I took this to the Lord, He always confirmed to me that I was in His hands and to trust Him at all times. In all this time, the people (in all their fellowships) were still the same gentle, friendly folk that we had encountered at the beginning, which made it extremely hard for me to believe that they were so “off the track” in their doctrines. I kept thinking that there must be more for me to learn and that maybe the problem lay with me rather than them. That certainly was the emphasis from the pulpit, plus their books and teaching.
I had done some studies on cults earlier in my Christian walk and I began to think I was now caught up in one. But because they were such a lovely group of people and because much of the teaching was truthful and useful, I put those thoughts to one side. Over time, they kept coming back more intensely however, and after nearly five years of hearing the same doctrines again and again, I began to think, “cult or not, I am now very much indoctrinated.” I continued to ask the Lord about this and at one point, all I now kept hearing from Him was, “It’s the truth that sets you free. In Me you are free.”
I marvel at how dull my spiritual hearing had become by this time. Firstly, I failed to study that word “free” (unrestrained, to go at pleasure, not a slave, exempt from obligation or liability), which meant I failed to recognize that God was also saying to me that I was free to leave that group. It was nearly another two years before I did leave. There were lots of lessons to learn from that failure – one is, find out what God is really saying when He reveals Himself with Scriptures we are very familiar with; the other is, act on His revelation regardless of what others think and He will be with you in it.
Another lesson I learned is this: if we do not develop love for truth and pay the price for it at all costs, we can never be free, in the true sense of its biblical meaning. The reason much of the Church around the world has no real impact on society is because it does not love truth. The reason far too many people who call themselves Christians (including leaders) are not free is exactly the same. They too do not love truth. Biblical truth is progressive and each illumination of truth comes at a cost that most are unwilling to pay. Fear of man, is a powerful demonic tool Proverbs 29:25. The church is full of men-pleasers, but very few God-pleasers.
I thank the Lord Jesus for my experience in that fellowship. He was always with me and never failed me and, I did learn lots of truth, which too many other churches fail to address – especially the need for us to become more godly husbands, wives, fathers, mothers and families. I thank Him for another reason too and that is, it gave me a hunger to spend the next few years re-studying cults and how they develop and operate. (See also my post: The Spirit of Cultism Entices People). I am eternally grateful for the numerous teachers and writers whose books and Internet papers I have studied regarding cults and cultish behavior; each one having played his/her part in highlighting to me the subtleties of counterfeit Christian practices.
My next three posts are: Melbourne Christian Fellowship – Why I Left It. Part 1, 2 & 3. I share in detail what I have written here. I pray that these testimonies will inform and encourage all Christians, but especially those who think they may be trapped as well. If that person is you or someone you know, may God use these to reveal to you His will on the matter. Wait upon God, read and study His word, listen for His personal voice to you through the Scriptures and above all, know that regardless of the situation you may find yourself in, God is always in control. “Buy the truth and do not sell it, also wisdom and instruction and understanding.” Proverbs 23:23. “……For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.” John 18:37.
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