A young lady, having become a Christian recently, shared her deep regret on social media for having once terminated the life of her unborn child. “I was not a Christian back then and I believed the doctor when he told me the removal of the fetus was not the same as taking a human life. I now know that is not the truth and I am overcome with guilt.” Apart from a couple of “serve you right”-type accusations, the majority of responses were encouraging in nature, “God forgives you,” or “God loves you,” or “Jesus died for you,” etc. She was not encouraged by these, however; she was plagued with guilt.
Why is that? Without knowing the young lady’s circumstances, it’s difficult to say with accuracy, but if I had the privilege of ministering privately to her, the first thing I would do is confirm if her Christian beliefs were based on a rock-solid biblical foundation. Anything less, and one is always going to be ruled by feelings and emotions, not by the Holy Spirit of God. Therefore, my first question to her would be, “On what basis do you believe you are a Christian?” Sometimes people will reply with something like, “Well, I believe in God; I believe in the Virgin birth of Christ and I believe in the resurrection.” But even the devil believes that! If one’s belief is limited to such, no wonder people are plagued with guilt. The devil, himself plagued with guilt, will make sure it!
In addition to believing the above, I would make sure the young lady understood and believed the following Scripture applied to her, as it does to all: For I delivered to you first of all that which I received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures 1 Corinthians 15:3-4. I would then encourage her to go before the Lord and specifically name her sins. The taking of a human life is serious indeed, but in God’s eyes all sin is serious. Therefore, naming them all before God and repenting of them is what He looks for. Too, being sorry for one’s sins must lead to repentance (turn from them). Judas was sorry for his betrayal of Christ, but Peter was repentant for his denial of Him.
The young lady feared the punishment of God for the taking of her unborn child’s life. I would make sure then, that she understood and believed that upon sincere repentance, her fear is misplaced; such comes from the devil, himself plagued with fear, not from God. God will not punish anyone who confesses Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes to righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made to salvation Romans 10:9-10. Punishment and salvation are incompatible; it’s either one or it’s the other. Sad it is that Christians today, new and old, are biblically ill-informed.
I would make sure the young lady understood and believed, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things become new 2 Corinthians 5:17. Quote: It is vain for a man to profess affinity to Christ according to the flesh, while he is unchanged in his heart and life, and dead in trespasses and sins; for he that is in Christ, that is, a genuine Christian, having Christ dwelling in his heart by faith, is a new creature; his old state is changed: he was a child of Satan, he is now a child of God; he was a slave of sin, and his works were death; he is now made free from sin, and has his fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. He was before full of pride and wrath; he is now meek and humble……”
Continued: “He formerly had his portion in this life, and lived for this world alone; he now hath God for his portion, and he looks not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are eternal. Therefore, old things are passed away.” – Albert Barnes. New creations – that’s the glorious reality! Once we were Satan’s sinners, now we are Christ’s saints. The latter is what God Himself calls us, so the sooner we come to terms with that and begin calling ourselves the same, the sooner we will take spiritual authority over guilt and send it on its way. When God declares His saints, “Not guilty,” for confessed sin, we dare not entertain thoughts to the contrary for too long, otherwise those feelings and emotions will usurp God-given faith.
Although not verbalized, “I don’t deserve to be forgiven,” was the strong message coming through from the young lady. Therefore, I would make sure she understood and believed none of us deserve to be forgiven; on the contrary, all of us deserve hell! Embracing that reality to the uttermost is the only way Christians will fully appreciate the mercy and grace of God and cease trying to earn forgiveness through self-imposed religious activity. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast Ephesians 2:8-9. Quote: “Grace, without any respect to human worthiness, confers the glorious gift. Faith, with an empty hand, and without any pretence to personal desert, receives the heavenly blessing.” – John Wesley.
By this time it would be my hope that the young lady understood and believed that not only has God forgiven her for terminating the life of her unborn child, but that He has forgotten about it. I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins Isaiah 43:25 cf. Hebrews 8:12. Of this grand blessing, the late Derek Prince said, “It’s not that God has a poor memory, it is that He has a great forgetter!” How’s that for mercy and grace! Whilst we may never forget our transgressions this side of eternity, we are greatly encouraged that God has forgotten them. When they come to mind again we know it’s the devil who brought them, not God. Therefore, we must continually remind him of what God says to us about them.
By this time, it would be my hope that the young lady understood and believed the Scriptures of the Bible to be God’s complete and final solution to all that she faces in life in both the negative and positive sense. God has an answer for them all. When guilt arises, the Scriptures overrule. Sickness, fears, worries, doubts, confusions, false accusations, lies, deceit and deception – you name it, the same applies. God has nothing to say to us outside of the Scriptures, but inside of them He has everything to say. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble Matthew 6:33-34.
By this time it would be my hope that the young lady understood and believed the necessity for separating from all that conflicts with the Scriptures of the Bible. The world’s philosophies and ideologies conflict with them, as does human-centered religion whether it claims to be Christian, non-Christian or anti-Christian. Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of this world, and not according to Christ. For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power Ephesians 2:8-10. (Underline mine). If only Christians would operate their lives according to that truth!
By this time it would be my hope that the young lady understood and believed that God may use her at some point for ministry to other women who have terminated the life of their unborn child/children. Whilst there are millions of women who have done so and have not a moment’s regret, equally there are millions of them also plagued with guilt for what they did. Anxiety (fear, heaviness, sorrow) in the heart of a man (person) causes depression (weighs it down), but a good word makes it glad Proverbs 12:25. Who better to bring Christ’s glorious good word gospel message of forgiveness and salvation to them than one such as her? If she does prepare herself for such a ministry, God, in His time, will bring her some women to minister to.
Note: It takes about 15 minutes to read this post. That may give the impression that what’s written here is a quick-fix formula for such guilt. Not so. There are no quick-fix formulas in Christ for anything. Forget the, “7 Easy Steps to…..” mentality! Ministering to people in the manner described here could take many days and many weeks. It’s not simply a matter of speaking the “right words” into a person’s life, it’s also a matter of counseling, listening, encouraging, praying, advising and coaching. In addition, it will take some months before one is ready for ministering to others, under the Holy Spirit’s anointing. Nevertheless, for the repentant only, remember: For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is to the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us Psalm 103:11-12.
A thoughtful, scriptural, and loving way to handle guilt. Introducing true repentance and forgiveness, plus clarifying the vital relationship between the two. Many people can’t forgive themselves. It takes a tried and tested relationship with the Lord, and intimate knowledge of the Holy Spirit, to receive and believe forgiveness straight from the Top. Educating, supporting, and pronouncing forgiveness from one capable of discipling is often a vital element of restoration. As is continuing to be there as strength and faith builds.
Wonderful post, Roger.
Thank you, Lynn. As God’s people we must forgive ourselves otherwise we devalue the shed blood of Christ and His promised word on the matter. Thinking of it like that will help us be done with guilt, I pray.
God bless you heaps, Lynn.