Back in March 1987 when I first began to do systematic Bible studies I was simply amazed to be learning of the nature and character of God Almighty, Who was revealing Himself to me in the Person of the Lord Jesus Christ using a book – or sixty-six books, known as the Bible. No greater miracle is there in all the world, so far as I am concerned. Before I met the Lord, I was many things not good, but especially was I a manipulator. Like many insecure, selfish people, I had manipulation down to a fine art whereby it would not be too long before I got my own way.
The more I was learning about God through those studies and the fact that it was His life that He was imparting to me, the more I could see that I wanted no part of my old self. I was fascinated to discover what it meant when looking in-depth at Jesus as being TRUTH. It did mean such a lot to me, because my whole life up until eighteen months earlier was a lie! I’d been a phony. Jesus had already shown me that, but now I was learning why I had been like this and more importantly, He was showing me the way out of it. I had a long way to go, but at least I was on His pathway following Him.
Later, when I got baptized and became a member of that church, the odd business-type meeting took place whereby at the end of discussions the membership would be asked to vote. When it came to “really important” matters, the pastor would reveal to certain ones among us in advance what his desires and intentions were. Then prior to the meeting he would arrange for those people to sit up the front, so that when it came time to say, “All those in favor?” the hands at the front would rise, ensuring a greater majority of other hands behind would rise too, based on what they were observing.
Union leaders have been using that tactic for years, so to see it working in the church seemed to me to be a clever move. It was only later when I looked at how Jesus operated did I begin to see the wickedness of such behavior. It was manipulation. It was man-centered behavior – insecure behavior – the old self in action, not the new man we are in Christ Colossians 3:9-10. However, how common that sort of behavior is in churches and always has been. Time was to confirm that this pastor was more man-centered than he was Christ-centered.
Another pastor we sat under used manipulation as his way of getting what he wanted. He was rather skillful, especially with the subtle way he used Scripture. The man was a materialist, expressing desires for things which we could ill afford but he got them by asking some of the wealthier people to give the church a loan – all in “preparation for church growth.” There was no growth, the church died. Here is what I have observed. Smile, speak with a soft voice, use appropriate Scriptures, talk of people dying and going to hell, talk of saving souls, mention church growth and you can be 100% sure of getting money out of people. But you may well be a manipulator.
In the last church I was a member of, a leading elder was an extremely skillful chairman at our business meetings, being able to handle people’s emotions when they got heated, able to satisfactorily meet all objections to proposals brought before them, quick to clarify certain confusing points of the church constitution – over all, a gifted politician. With regards to the constitution, years long before, he was a major player in setting it up and in getting the fellowship of that time to accept its final draft. Like nobody else, he knew it back to front.
At an election for elders, I was one of two scrutinizers counting the votes and one of the nominees missed out. She did not meet the required 2/3rds, missing out by three votes. But this skillful man explained that everybody had been returned with the required majority. When challenged about the matter, he was able to explain it away because of other ambiguous clauses in that constitution. In the weeks prior to the election much prayer was offered up that, “God’s will be done,” but we need not have bothered because she was never going to lose anyway.
It would appear that elections were only necessary if you had more nominees than positions. The rest of the time they were merely held to give people the impression that they were having a say. A skillful chairman? Yes, but also a skillful manipulator. In all the churches I’ve been associated with, manipulation has been the major tactic used by both men and women when organizing working bees and rosters of all kinds. And, “fear of what others will think of me,” was the greatest trigger for response.
Examples: “This is a test of your love for God.” “How much do you love Jesus?” “How much does the extension of the Kingdom of God mean to you?” “We are a very privileged and blessed people in this place.” “Nothing you and I can give will ever make up for what God has given us.” “God has blessed us with this lovely property, He expects us to be good stewards of it!” From what I have discerned over the years, “fear of man” Proverbs 29:25 is the motivation for most people’s responses much more so than authentic, biblical love for God. It shows up in other ways.
The dictionary tells us that the word “manipulate” means: to control or influence somebody/something in a skillful way, often in a dishonest way so that they do not realize it; esp. to manipulate people’s feelings. Governments, Political parties, Charities, Insurance companies, Health organizations, Terrorist groups & nations – all of them are well-schooled in the art of manipulation. They know how to bring the deepest fears out of human beings. But, when one turns to the Lord Jesus Christ, the last place we should expect to find manipulation is in the church. Yet, it is rampant.
Of the various manipulative practices in the church however, the worst is not that of using it to get one’s way at business meetings, or recruiting people for working bees or rosters. The worst is expressed when church leaders manipulate the Scriptures of the Bible – when they turn away from the plain-sense meanings of Scripture in favor of spiritualizing and allegorizing – making them say what God never intended them to say. This too is rampant. If this practice was limited to leaving, “nice thoughts” with the people (which can be sometimes the case), it would be rather harmless, but in reality, it is often most harmful.
From time to time over the years, I have had dear people share their nice thoughts with me based on what they’ve heard from their pulpits, teachings and books etc and where possible, acknowledgment was given. However, in most cases when an attempt was made to bring them back to the plain-sense meaning, mindful of context as well, some became offended. Others have given me that, “I feel sorry for your lack of deeper spirituality”-type look, whilst in others I have discerned a spiritual “fog” come over them. In other words, they gave every indication of listening, but not hearing.
It seems to me that the embracing of Scriptural spiritualizing and allegorizing at the expense of retaining the plain-sense meanings creates two kinds of Christians. The first kind appear to be solid in their faith when everything is going along well. No sickness, good money, good job, husband, wife, family etc…. life’s good. But when circumstances change, even slightly so, they are quick to fall in a heap. It is then when it shows up that this embracing does not sustain them in their faith. Why not? Because they have failed to solidly ground themselves in the plain-sense meanings of God’s word.
The second kind who embrace the same practice become indoctrinated, blinded and deceived, reaching the point where they no longer want to see the plain-sense meanings for what they are. They “see” something else altogether. Not only do they “see” this something else in a verse of Scripture, but also in the passage or even in the chapter itself. For far too many years I sat in a fellowship where this went on and each time I attempted to ask about the plain-sense meanings to a leader, I would get, “Yes, it does say that, but we believe it’s saying much more than that………” Thank God for the Holy Spirit, Who ever quickens me to switch on now, whenever I hear, “Yes,…..but we believe..….!” “I will gather those who sorrow over the appointed assembly, who are among you, to whom its reproach is a burden.” Zephaniah 3:18.
Roger,
Isn’t it interesting that fear is the emotion that’s primarily used to manipulate people…
Manipulating people to believe un-biblical doctrine by playing on their fear through the idea that they’re the only ones who don’t “get it” or who aren’t “enlightened” works pretty well.It seems as if there’s so much new age false spirituality going around, I see it all the time! That there are no ultimate consequences for our actions and that God’s mercy is unlimited, the deception goes on and on!
Fear not is one of if not THE most commonly used phrase in Gods word!
Hebrews 13:6 Take care Roger!
You are so right Jeff.
What I “don’t get” is the spiritual blindness of those who say, “You don’t understand………” It’s also arrogance. Whenever I hear that, I believe the Spirit would say to us, “You understand, fully.”
As for fear, it creates a paralysis that stops the people from seeking God for themselves. If one should dare do so, they are labelled as “independant.” If only God’s people would stop bowing to labels and stand on that commonly used phrase, “fear not” how different everything would be for them, as you and I can attest. Thank you Jeff. You’re in my prayer.
Roger
I’ve been interested to read your thoughts on manipulative practices in the church.
Something that really concerns me at present is how PRAYER has become an instrument of manipulation and control in the modern church.
The prevailing ‘wisdom’ is that prayer is a ‘powerful tool’ for living ‘a successful life’ (I’ve just been reading the catalogue from my local Christian bookstore!). Essentially, it is seen as a means of achieving whatever one wants in life (and thus conforming God’s will to one’s own)!
Prayer is also used to control other people (usually in the guise of affirmation and encouragement, but with an agenda tacked onto the end!).
You’re right, Carol.
Manipulation and control is what it’s about, but I praise God for showing us this.
As for the Christian bookstore, it seems that the almighy $ is the motivation for most of them, rather the Almighty God. I’m saddened by what I see on the shelves. It appears no discernment or wisdom is sought for, but it does agree with the Scriptures that we are living in the last days.
“…an agenda tacked onto the end!” Yes – how true.
Bless you heaps,
Roger
One of the most dangerous applications of manipulation in the church, are those who manipulate themselves based upon their own mistaken ideas of what is being taught to role-modeled.
This even happens with Bible study. The mimicry of the faith and practice of someone else should not be done without direct involvement with the individual(s) involved.
I knew a quiet man in our church as I grew up. I always though he had it together. Then I found out much later this man was beating on his wife and folks in church knew about that.
This man’s quiet nature was not due to confidence in Christ, his soft manners were not evidence of the Holy Spirit in his life. Mimicking his behaviors would have been inducing false motivation on my part anyway.
Being authentic and transparent are vitally important, but that means it stems from the work of God in our life. We are His workmanship.
Thanks for the article, I found it informative and one that I will recommend others to come read.
Thank you.
Thanks Gregory.
“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.” Romans 8:14. That’s my prayer for us all.
Roger
people are not stupid.even if they cant plainly express what there feeling,they know somethings not right.a fearless appraisal of ones true motives would benefit todays churches.when you have looked at yourself in this way your eyes are opened and the motives of other become raw.obvious and exposed.why?because youve seen it in yourself and the truth has made you free.not perfect,but aware if your being dishonest.
Hi Robert
a fearless appraisal of ones true motives would benefit todays churches
I agree, it certainly would benefit … it starts with the pastors & elders, but most of them won’t go there. Lots to pray about.
Thanks for commenting and God’s best to you.
Roger
If even half of what you have written is correct, then the church in Africa in general and the church in Kenya in particular could use some serious prayers. Our pastors nowadays like to go by the title “Men of God” with the obvious implication that they are God’s spokesmen on earth (or at least this part of the earth). As such whatever they say is “directly from the throne of God” and it is not to be contested in any way. Proof texting, misquoting the Bible and other forms of manipulation are the order of the day, made easy by the fact that many people in the congregations are still half literate. Giving, more giving and even more giving has now become a sort of an unofficial anthem in most of our churches, always with the rider that you cannot expect to reap when you never sowed in the first place. The tragedy here is that most people are already deceived and would consider anyone expressing a contrary opinion to be their enemy because he is “blocking their blessings”. Out goes grace, in comes works. Prayers please
Hi Onesmus
These so-called “Men of God” you speak of are nothing but spiritual piranhas and they’re headed for hell.
The tragedy here is that most people are already deceived and would consider anyone expressing a contrary opinion to be their enemy because……
That’s right, Jeremiah 5:30-31 is just as true today as it was in his day. If grace is out and works are in then it’s time to get away from them because that’s what the Holy Spirit has done.
My prayer will be that those truly seeking God would see the truth of what’s going on in those places and get out too. As for the majority of them, they’ll stay, just like people do in most other parts of the world.
Thanks for your comment, Onesmus and God’s very best to you.
Roger
Hello. I’m attending a small church that has a visiting evangelist who points to people in congregation and says ‘God told me to pray for you’, then he goes gets their hand and brings them to the altar. He then asks if they are saved and then gets them to tell them what may be bothering them. When he did this to a visitor and they haven’t been back since. She did go up there after he got her hand and took her.
I take my neighbors to church and they agree it makes them very uncomfortable afraid he will do this to them.
So, last week he did it again and my husband got up and walked out during service getting his guitar from the front.
After service the pastor went running after him to ask him why he left.
He told him to ask me. I told the pastor this man, which I don’t dispute he hears from God, but he shouldn’t force people to the altar that does not want to come. The pastor said I need discernment and pray about it.
I kinda felt insulted by that as I do have discernment and this man has always given me an uncomfortable feeling and ‘push back’. I was always taught God is a gentleman and doesn’t gives ‘free will’ and doesn’t force himself. People shouldn’t be called out and made to come to the altar is my feeling.
I also teach adult Sunday school in the church and he and his wife always come in late. He said last week the reason he’s late is he talks to God every morning and that’s why he can’t come in time for Sunday school.
He is going to do a ‘revival’ in a few weeks and started jumping around getting a little overzealous and said he wants people to get excited and start running up and down the aisles.
Now I was raised in a Pentecostal church so I’m a tad familiar with this but he is being too pushy and acts like he is the only one that ‘hears from God cause he is special’.
This is a very small church with about 10 people that has been around for at least 30 years and has lost members several times, going through 5 pastors in 5-6 years we have found out. The pastors that have left take people with them and start another church.
My husband and I do like this church and I know ‘offense’ will occur in the last days and don’t know if we are being ‘offended’ by the Devil or mislead.
Hello Kathy
Thank you for responding.
God told me to pray for you.
Is the pastor young or old? In any case, from what I’m reading he seems unwise and spiritually immature.
God may have told him to pray for people, but I doubt that He tells him to go and grab them by the hand and take them to the altar. God is wise.
In addition, God does not publicly embarrass visitors, or put them on the spot, or make them feel uncomfortable. No wonder people don’t come back!
If God did tell him to pray, it would have been wiser to have spoken to them in private, in my opinion.
Sorry to hear your husband left it for you to explain since he’s the one who walked out.
The pastor said I need discernment and pray about it.
That is the natural response of a pastor who won’t allow fellowship members to speak into his life. You do have discernment.
this man has always given me an uncomfortable feeling and ‘push back’.
Pastors unsure of themselves will always give that feeling.
He is going to do a ‘revival’ in a few weeks and started jumping around getting a little overzealous
That’s right, that’s what they do. It’s a “work of the flesh” not a work of the Holy Spirit. There will be no revival; any appearance of such will be bogus.
….acts like he is the only one that ‘hears from God cause he is special’
The church is full of such pastors and leaders. They are deceived.
The pastors that have left take people with them and start another church.
Once again, a common practice. They are not pastors, they’re hirelings and sheep stealers.
You are not being mislead, Kathy. Your church is spiritually dead. Don’t hang around or you’ll spiritually die with them. If there is nowhere else for you to go, I advise you both to worship at home together and wait on the Lord to lead you on in His time.
God bless you, Kathy and thanks again.
Thank you for this article. I believe many do not realize the manipulative practices that occur in churches, some seem blind to them.
I began going to a church after many years of not going, have led a full life, I’m currently 60yrs old. After 3 or 4 years things started to get a little weird, while there were some questionable things that had occurred before that, I just shrugged off some of it. I’m referring to a fairly flirtatous atmosphere. Women mostly older over 50 subtlety bending over so one can look down their blouse’s, woman not his wife having her hand high up on the pastors thigh while at a church event, woman lifting her shirt to reveal more leg during service, comments that could be taken a couple different ways. Let me say this, the church in general is full of good men who have not dated or been with any other women besides their wives and I believe possibly easily influenced. This particular church has a pastor and wife team, the wife is a psychologist. Mostly, after I gave a decent sized Christmas donation and while in the pastor and wife’s small group held in the evening, the pastor started making some unusual statements to me over a period of months, like his wife likes real hot showers, wife likes dark meat. Statements like those in themselves don’t amount to anything but taken in a larger context they may. Pastors wife while not unattractive seemed to be spending more time around me, during church and after church, we even had kind of a date night in the small group where she wore a loose blouse with tight jeans and we sat next to each other. Seemed like nobody thought anything of this. What led me to leave the church was when the pastors wife while wearing a fairly loose blouse, was bending down to speak to someone next to me while looking at me to see if I was looking at her, well, I turned away and she got up, bothered and bent over to show a group guys the inside her blouse. I left the church after that and pulled my significant other out with me. The pastor said several times he’ll pray for her ( about me taking her out). It all sounds like fiction but I can assure you it happened.
Point of all this is the manipulation that goes on in churches as well as some demonic forces at work. I’ve became disappointed and affected by my disillusionment about the church. I’ve been to another church and saw other forms of manipulation. The manipulation gets its hold with a persons sense of wanting to belong.
Hello Anthony … thank you for commenting.
The crafty harlot of Proverbs 7:6-27 is always on the prowl in such places. That pastor sounds like he’s a devil-led sex pervert, not a Holy Spirit-led man of God. You did the right thing in getting away from them. Manipulation operating in multiple forms is rife in the church; has been since its inception. That’s what happens when truth, holiness and righteousness are not the primary desires of church people. Proverbs 26:23.
God bless you.
Hi Roger, I came across your article while looking for insight as to why I cannot bring myself to “go to church” at present. I relate to other believers who will relate to me on the basis of our being “in Christ” as the only foundation to build on. What I am having to face is really deep feelings of pain that from my own experience many church believers will simply not engage with me although I am a sincere believer trying to walk with Jesus BECAUSE I do not do what they want: ie attend their services and get on the hamster treadmill with them. I am in my 60s with a disability which means it has been very difficult to engage with churches at the times they are open. It may be an unconscious thing with many of them and a result of non-biblical teaching and a wrong understanding of what the Body of Christ is and who the Ekklesia is, but I have realised over time just how demeaning the practice is of relating to people to recruit them into a mindset or a system or a club rather than simply doing what Galatians teaches: Do good to all especially to the household of faith. Not to mention the no-strings attached approach in the parable of the Good Samaritan. I have, in fact, better and healthier relationships outside of the church system and can now see that the doctrines and commandments and traditions of men that Jesus Himself condemned in the religious of His day are in fact anti-christ at the root. Of course one has to forgive the abusive behaviour but I now feel fairly fearful of religious settings because after years and years of anihilating myself by serving the agendas of men rather than the Lord Jesus Himself, I am terrified of being controlled and manipulated and judged if I don’t comply. I have found generally than if the time comes to leave, then the relationships that are built on the structures of men often don’t survive. Worse of all is the feeling that you are a backslider if you don’t conform. I believe many true believers are suffering from PTSD triggered by spiritual abuse. My real solace and joy are the scriptures and listening to those online who give generously of themselves and their time to teach accurately because they know the truth and love the Lord. Like you I have come to be wary of the practice of allegorisation which, like the Pharisees, undermines the authority of God and His word and places it on the shoulders of man and those who interpret. In closing I will say, I have asked the Lord to show me if I am at fault regarding the pain I feel, and whether I need to be more open to relating to people who are sinners just like me! The Lord sends believers across my path to fellowship with but I simply cannot stand or bring myself to submit to the widespread practice of ignoring believers who do not conform to the system. The question most religious ask me first is: “which church do you go to”? whereas non-church people tend to ask me “how are you”? The latter feels a lot more healthy and not based on performance-driven religion. If you have any wisdom or insight for me, I would be most grateful. Warmest wishes, Christine
Hi Christine
Thank you for your testimony and, thank God for your wisdom and insight!
Praise God too that you cannot bring yourself to “go to church.” Having said that, you would go if the Spirit of God had the leadership and majority of the people within centered in Christ and grounded in His word. In other words, Christine, it’s the “church” that’s the problem, not you! Now not many Christians will agree with that statement because, as I’ve stated numerous times in posts and comments on this blog, they are not truly seeking Christ for themselves. Friendship and fellowship they seek first; the kingdom of God is a lower priority. That’s the grand difference.
No doubt you have been in turmoil, tossed to and fro with, “don’t be judgmental.” It’s one of the devil’s favorite Scriptures and he’s very good at imitating the voice of God when he expresses it. First thing, never allow it to get past you … he is a liar. Second thing … he is a deceiver.
The deep feelings you experience – that’s normal, but only for the few like you who are hungering and thirsting for righteousness. You’re in great company, Christine, Jesus suffered them too! If you sit quietly with the Lord, there is every chance He is going to impress upon you, “Now you know what I went through.”
I believe it’s a wise decision not to forsake righteousness for the sake of fellowship. Yes, and out of the mouth of good people as well as pretenders you’ll hear the devil misquote, “not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some,” Hebrews 10:25. But they never quote, “but exhorting one another, and so much more as you see the Day approaching.” In addition, they never quote Verses 22-24.
Another devil favorite, “Don’t look for the perfect church because if you join it, it will no longer be perfect.” Under no circumstances ever would the Spirit of God say that to one of His own, so if you hear leaders saying it, just know they lack godly wisdom. When fellow Christians say it, they are simply parroting their unwise leaders.
I agree with you, it is a demeaning practice to relate, simply to recruit. That too often comes from leadership. The more recruited, the bigger the meal ticket for them. You have the discernment to know who is the real deal, for the Holy Spirit has given it to you.
Manipulation and control is rampant in “churches”, Christine; the religious system knows no other way of operating because there’s no Spirit of God to set them free from it. There is much and many to pray for!
“Worst of all is the feeling you are a backslider if you don’t conform.” That’s right – guilt is all part of the devil’s deal. Don’t let him trick you into confusing Spirit-conviction with devil-condemnation. As a born again believer you are done with guilt and condemnation forever. If you were a backslider, your solace and joy would not be coming from the Scriptures and listening to those online.
Which church do you go to? Answer: You go to the biblical church of the Lord Jesus Christ. Such a church is a spiritual organism – very different from the unspiritual religious organization. I believe there’s a day coming when Christians will become more unified than at the present; you will know that day without a doubt. In the meantime God will definitely bring the odd righteous Christian your way one way or another.
Don’t expect too many to understand you. The Lord God Almighty understands and that’s all that matters. Hold tightly to Galatians 5:1. That’s the way to steer clear of performance-driven religion.
God bless you heaps, Christine.