Self-god Is a Tyrant

Working with a group of people recently, I noticed the shaking hands of a young man.  Although the opening session included brief introductions all around, my immediate thought was that his shaking was more than one of simply being nervous about sharing when it came his turn to do so.  I’d seen such shaking a few times before over the years, so I began to think he was one with a mental disturbance of some kind.  During a coffee break he came to me apologizing “for my restlessness and shaking, I have bipolar disorder.”  The first time I met people with that issue they were calling it depression, manic depression or mood swings.  

Like the others before him, the young man told me that the more pressure he’s under the worse it gets for him.  His pressure for that day was living with the fact that certain monies promised him would now not be forth-coming.  He told me he’s been suffering with this thing since he was a child.  He also knew of my radio program, earlier telling me that, “even though I’m an atheist I like to hear other people’s viewpoints.”  So I encouraged him to listen to it with an open, teachable spirit suggesting if he did so, God would reveal Himself to him.  His reaction was similar to the others though … curious about God for help, but not serious about it.

A young lady friend of his was in attendance also.  She told me that she was not bipolar but nevertheless, she suffered from worry, anxiety and low self-esteem and these things kept her awake too often at night.   She said that as a young girl she sometimes attended church services with her grandmother, “and although I never knew what really went on there, I always enjoyed it.”  I suggested she too listen to the program and allow God to show Himself, informing her He specializes in ministering freedom from those things.  There was some indication of doubt from her, “but I did enjoy it with my grandmother.” 

It is well over twenty years ago since I had my first encounter with such people. “The doctor said I suffer with mood swings,” said the man in his early forties.  He came to the church for ministry and many long hours by more than one person were invested in him, but around eighteen months later he walked away.  Some awful things happened to him as a child both in the home and at school, which naturally enough left deep scars of hurt, bitterness and unforgiveness.  He was unemployed, his marriage fell apart and he lost intimate contact with his children.  The Lord was patient with him, but gave him over to his own will.

Another man in his early thirties with similar problems, came to receive similar ministry, but walked away after a mere few weeks.  When faced with the suggestion that in time he would experience the Lord’s ministry of release from his traps, he chose to stay in the traps instead.  As with others I’ve worked with, he wanted relief but not release … and God never interferes with a person’s choice.  Although she didn’t come to the church, a divorced lady in her early forties received regular ministry from us for some months too.  She was schizophrenic.  Her story too, was not good, but after a year or so she told us she wasn’t interested in the things of God anymore.

Jesus has told us in the gospels that the person who desires to save his/her life loses it and the person who desires to lose his/her life for His sake finds it Matthew 16:25.  Laying aside the eternal aspect of what Jesus is saying here, it was indeed sad to witness this truth being outworked in the day to day lives of those people. Christians are fond of saying it’s the devil’s hold on them that keeps them trapped; but in this case it was their hold on themselves that kept them trapped.  No desire for God was the real issue.  They were curious about God, they wanted the help of God, but they did not want God Himself.  Simply put, the doctor’s word meant more to them than God’s word. 

Having said that, I well know that there are people suffering from those things who do desire God and whilst they continue to have their struggles, they can also give testimony to the love and compassion and power of God as He ministers to them.  The difference being; one person is willing to acknowledge a root cause to their problem and allows God to minister from there, while the other is unwilling to acknowledge that there was even such a thing as a root cause.  In my case, their preference was to ever see themselves as victims.  They were victims, but they didn’t give Jesus the chance to turn them into victors.   

A little while ago the courts placed a good behavior bond on a man who had been charged by the police for domestic violence.  It was not the first time he’d been charged for this, but when interviewed on TV as to why the courts released him, he said, “I have been diagnosed as having Intermittent Explosive Disorder.” How about that! Extreme violence and uncontrollable rage now seen as a mental disorder by psychology/psychiatry, rather than plan old fashioned self-willed, undisciplined bad-character disorder.  When he stands before God and spins that line, God will say, “But what did you do with My Son, Jesus?”

Yes, God is most compassionate and gracious.  He is longsuffering and abundantly merciful with us all.  But He is also a God of truth Psalm 86:15.  Righteousness and justice are the foundation of His throne.  Not only does mercy go before His face but truth does too Psalm 89:14.  What does that mean for these people?  It means that one day they will be judged according to truth, even though they didn’t want the truth or believed that there’s no such thing as truth.  And too, they will discover that lies remain lies even though they wanted them to be truth.  Their hearts will be open before God.  That’s why God would rather open them here now so He doesn’t have to do it later.      

I am not without love, nor compassion for the people I’ve written about here.  Neither am I here to judge them, knowing that one finger pointed towards anybody, will always guarantee three fingers pointing back at me.  I’m pleased to say I’ve never been diagnosed by a psychologist /psychiatrist as manic depressive, bipolar or one with intermittent explosive disorder.  But I am pleased to say I’ve been diagnosed by God as a sinner!  What is a sinner?  A sinner is a self-willed person – one who denies, ignores, rejects or fights against God and His will.  A sinner is also one who prefers to live with lies rather than truth.

There are those who’ve been conditioned to accepting lies, of course.  The test comes when they get presented with truth.  Example: A religious person brought up in a family that has embraced superstitious, false religious beliefs may not know it’s a lie until he has been presented with truth about it.  A person brought up in a godless, atheistic environment may not know the depth of that lie until he’s been presented with truth about the existence of God and the fact that he is accountable to God.  A person brought up to believe that all truth is relative may not know the depth of his lie until he’s been confronted by Absolute Truth Himself.  What then?

It is true that the minds of people have been blinded by the god of this world (Satan) 2 Corinthians 4:4, but how much more so those who don’t/won’t believe the gospel of Jesus Christ?  In other words, people who refuse God will not be able to use bipolar, mood swings or intermittent explosive disorder as an excuse before Him for who they are and what they do. Neither will they be able to blame the devil for their ignorance or inability to receive & believe truth.  Jesus has put it in writing for all (who have the mental capacity to understand) to see that it is the truth that sets us free.  Not only that but He’s given people who are equipped with divine know-how, to help.

Personally, it was a blessing to see in the Scriptures the commandment from God, “You shall have no other gods before Me.” Exodus 20:3.  I once worshiped the god, Self.  Self-god is a tyrant.  He demands full attention during your every waking moment, but the more attention you give him the more miserable you become in return.  In other words, people are deceived into believing life comes from Self, when in reality death comes instead, which is exactly what Jesus is on about in Matthew 16:25.  It is the preoccupation with Self more than anything else that is the core problem with people who have bipolar, manic depression or whatever else they’ve been told they have.

God, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, has a ministry for the lot.  No matter how these things come into existence, whether through self-infliction or through somebody else inflicting something, God has ministry for it.  But His first course of action will be to (graciously but certainly) deal with Self.  In other words, should one consider turning to the Lord God Almighty for help, the first thing he/she needs to know is that there is no place for Self in the presence of God, it has to go.  Once Self is out of the way it frees Him to go to work on those other things.  What’s the alternative?  Reject the living Lord God Almighty, cling on to Self and slowly but very surely it will kill you.  

In the meantime while Self does slowly but surely kill the Self pre-occupier, it all too often seeks to make life hell for all those around it.  In seeking to get its own way it is selfish, self-righteous, manipulative, intimidating, demanding, commanding, whining, complaining, blaming, fault-picking, judgmental, using, accusing and abusing.  It sucks the life, energy and vitality out of all who come near it.  No wonder God will have nothing to do with Self.  No wonder He has to kill it off.  This is the reason I wanted the young man and woman to listen to that radio program.  God has a better way for them … and my prayer is that one day they will acknowledge that. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” Proverbs 16:25. “I am the way the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me.” John 14:6.